Paige Births Kai
Kai Michael Espenship made his appearance into the world on Tuesday 3/29/2011 at 1:10pm. He weighed 9lbs and 8.5oz and was 21 inches long. I did it all natural without drugs and in the water.
I walked 3-5 miles every day of my pregnancy and was walking up to the day I gave birth. Over the weekend, I felt some cramping (not painful, just a tightening sensation) and noticed that the cramps came and went about every 10 to 20 minutes but then they would stop for several hours.
I went to bed Monday night at around 12:30pm and woke up at 1:00am with contractions 2 minutes apart. The contractions were mild, like menstrual cramps, so I filled the tub and hung out for a while. At 3:00am I called Teresa and my midwife but I was still able to talk through my contractions, so my midwife told me to come in to the office at 8am to be checked but to call her if things changed. By 5:00am I could barely focus on anything other than trying to recoup between contractions. I yelled for Jeff between contractions and told him to call the midwife and Teresa and tell them about my condition. I wanted him to get as much sleep as possible so I waited to the last minute to wake him. He was very eager to get me to the hospital.
When we got there at 6am, I was 7cm and they filled the tub for me. I got in, thinking that I would be having a baby within a couple of hours since I got to 7 in no time. My water broke at 6:50am in the tub. I was still thinking that the baby was going to come out in the next two or three contractions, but I had no idea how much more work was ahead of me. Transition.
I had a very difficult time with transition (probably related to a lot of fear and insecurity) and I’ll admit that I begged for an epidural, a c section and a vacuum. Teresa did a great job of reminding me that in order to get any of those I would have to get back in the bed, get a bag of fluids and then call the anesthesiologist. All of this could take quite a long time. I couldn’t stand the thought of getting on the bed. I just wanted to be on the toilet or in the tub. In fact, I thought why don’t they have a toilet in the tub? Why hadn’t anyone thought of that?
I thought I would be quiet, but I was the noisiest cow they had probably ever heard on the floor. At one point, during a contraction I swayed with Jeff, moaning like a cow with my frizzy hair and Jeff and I both thought of that waterbirth video we watched in LOL class with the midwife from Mexico who leaned on her husband and moaned with her frizzy hair. (This is exactly what I wanted to avoid during labor). Oh well, I didn’t really care in the moment. I also thought I would be modest, but I was full out naked! So anyway the time came to push.
I pushed for over 2 hours. Teresa tied a sheet to the door so I could hang from it in the pool and take some of the pressure off of my knees. I’m sure that moving positions helped me to progress even though it felt like I was going nowhere. I remember telling everyone in the room “This isn’t working. He isn’t going to fit”. All of the training we had in class left me in my moments of insecurity. I panicked, but somehow I persevered. I remember Teresa and Anjli telling me that this was all normal. I took comfort in knowing that Teresa had actually done this before three times personally herself. The sensations in my body were unlike anything I had ever felt before. I had run a marathon, but this was more challenging than that. There was no useful pep talk that I could give myself because with each contraction the labor became more intense.
I got scared. Finally I remember surrendering to my own body. I turned my mind off and just experienced and trusted the labor and birth of my son. The sensations of him descending into my pelvis and through my cervix and vagina were unbelievably foreign and scary, but I am convinced that the only way to successfully get through it is to quiet your mind and trust your body. Once I did that, the pain and fear and panic subsided. I tried to associate all of the sensations and thoughts into pleasure. Before I knew it, Kai came out at 1:10pm with the help of Anjli. His hand was by his face and his head was a little cocked to the side, which made my job quite a bit harder.
So Anjli, my midwife, reached in and pulled his little arm out and the rest of him came out with a push. Ahhhhh, relief! Maybe that is orgasmic birth? It felt amazing. Anjli handed me my child and I was so overwhelmed with the whole process. Kai took his first breath of air and life in my arms. He cried the sweetest little cry and slowly came to life. I’ve heard that babies born in the water have much gentler, quieter sounds in those first few moments of life than babies born outside of the water. I held him for a while in the warm water and he gazed at my face and I gazed at his.
After a few minutes we moved to the bed and he was weighed. I think I shouted a few expletives when I heard he weighed, 9lbs 8.5oz! I had a second degree tear which required a few stitches. I did get a shot of lidocaine for that:) I remember being so afraid of tearing, but it was not really a big deal. In fact, I learned how to breast feed with Teresa’s help as they were stitching me up.
I could not have done this the way I wanted to if Teresa had not been there. She was a lifesaver, literally. Later, I was told that if I had delivered at a different hospital and different practice, I very well would have been sent to the OR for an emergency c-section. I guess many providers don’t know how to do the arm pull maneuver or are unwilling to attempt it.
Anyway, looking back, it was a perfect birth. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but it was doable and I am so proud of myself and every woman for what we are capable of doing.
Paige Espenship
Proud Mama
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